Sabotage??

Just when you think you have the best support team on your side, things go wonky.  People's perceptions of what you should be or were remain stuck in those old ways and when you least expect it.....someone plays that spade.

What was an amazing weekend for me was laced with frustration.  When my focus should have been on preparing for the longest walk/run I have ever participated in...(hey let's face it, I have never RUN anything) was sidetracked Saturday evening with drama and old patterns.  It made me mad!  For those that know me, that's a good thing...and I even expressed how I felt.  I said the  F word alot.. F OFF!  

Funny how things change but people's perception of how you should be may or may not.  The encounter I experienced was over eating a healthy meal to prepare for the race I had signed up for the next day.  Seems reasonable enough.  You would have thought I had asked someone to jump over the moon.  Being patronized and told to just go get a burger didn't sit well with me.  Neither did all the comments directed at the race.  "I don't know why you are so freaked up about this whole thing...it's just a puny 8.2 mile walk.  It's not like it's a marathon.  I never prepare for this kind of stuff, you don't need to, just go get a burger".

Honestly it hurt my feelings.  Why would someone encourage me to go through the drive through and get a burger?  Even after the race the next day I got no great job, wow, impressive, good for you.  What I got was "you should never have run that.  You have to ease into that running, I could have told you that sorry". SABOTAGE

So what your sayin is.......stay fat!  eat burgers and don't push yourself, you are not capable.  WOW!  And I don't mean WOW in a good way.

So turns out....I set a personal goal to run or walk a 5k by the fall.  Be under 15 minute miles, and FINISH!  I did all three and then some and I am so proud of myself.  It was long, and hard and my legs and calves were on fire, but I did it all by myself, nobody at the end rooting for me, just me myself and I.  I ran 4.5 miles of the 8.2 course.  WOW!! and I mean that in a GOOD way.  YAY ME!  Those old guilt trips are powerless on me.  The negative comments, the old perceptions of what I should look like....buh-bye!  It's a new day here and fitness is the new bitch!  Take that haters!  Watch out because I am gonna continue to break records and goals I set for myself and come out on top!  WINNING!